I'm Gonna Hire a Boy Scout

Tune: We're goin to hire a wino to decorate our home

  Came home late Sunday afternoon
  Finally got out all my gear as she opened the door
  She said you're not going to do this any more...
  
Chorus:
  She said I'm going to hire a Boy Scout to decorate our home
  So you'll feel more at ease here, you won't need to roam
  We'll take down the family pictures, hang backpacks on the wall
  And we'll lash a latrine seat in our bathroom down the hall

  Just bring those tin foil dinners, and I'll cook them all right here
  And we'll drink Apple Bug Juice & Good ole Schweppes Root Beer
  And just for you I'll keep a stock of those all Aluminum cans,
  So you can go recycling for your environmental plans
  
  CHORUS
  
  We'll rip out all the carpet and put pine needles on the floor
  And we'll put up a gateway for when you come through the door
  And when you want your supper you can flick your bic
  Instead of gourmet cooking we'll have hot dogs on a stick
  
  CHORUS
  
  Instead of nightly teevee we'll have a campfire show
  And I'll get you to sing for me those stupid songs you know
  And I'll do a funny cheer for you each time you tell a joke
  As long as you don't repeat old skits I'll laugh until I croak
  
  CHORUS
  
  Instead of family planning we'll have a PLC
  And maybe plan the council calendar for the year 2003
  If my trading post is open, you can rob your piggy bank,
  And when you make Silver Beaver, why you'll have me to thank
  
  CHORUS
  
  So the next time you want to go camping
  And you have a weekend free
  Why there won't be any reason why you can't stay here with me